Convincing my Mum to let me build her a wildlife pond - Please help!

No offence meant here but - are you doing this for yourself or your mother?  You've said you want to indulge yourself, so I wonder if this is more about what you want than what your mother wants.  I don't think anyone should be convinced to do anything they don't want to as it is no good if she just gives in to get you to shut up about it and ends up with something she is unhappy with.  She is also right ponds do require maintainence otherwise they become something that is not beneficial for wildlife but a stinking mess that benefits very few species - they need cleaning out, weeding and sometimes things don't work out properly and further work is needed to get the balance right.  If she already has wildlife in her garden I am sure she will already be able to get enjoyment from that if she choses without needing to build a pond, to get that range of wildlife something must already be going right in the garden - if it ain't broke why fix it?

Why not just plant a wildflower meadow with poppies and cornflowers, other pretty flowers that will brighten up the area, need mowing less often than grass and will also be beneficial to wildlife?  It requires very little maintainence, unlike a pond, but has many benefits for wildlife also.

Wow, that was certainly not what I was expecting from reading other posts on the forum. I am a grown woman and I do understand what my mum does and doesn't want! If anyone knows how she currently feels about the state the garden is in then it is me!

The garden has been ruined by my dad and she is desperate to make amends to it without spending a lot of money. As someone who visits regularly I offered to do this favor for her, as it's something she greatly enjoys, but thinks it will be 'a burden' for me. But I really wasn't expecting to have to explain myself. She asked me to get her some stories to convince her it will be worth me going to this effort for her. She would be on here doing it herself if she was confident enough on the computer but I dread to think how she would have felt to receive such a response!

I have no plans to do anything expensive or that cannot be changed. She has been quoted in excess of £5k to get the garden professionally sorted out which would in turn most likely ruin the wonderful habitat that has established itself, and I seriously doubt that would make her happy. She has been bemoaning the lack of frogs in her goldfish pond - it just isn't the right environment for them and I want to create one for her to watch them in. As for plants, the garden is sorted as it's essentially been left to go wild. It's the water creatures she misses hence the pond.

I'm sorry if I came across in my OP as a child with ideas above her station and with blatant disregard for her own parent. I came to this forum due to our (apparent) mutual love of wildlife and for inspirational stories to encourage more people to provide for animals and birds. I already volunteer in eco projects in my local area, I am not a complete newbie, and most of all I am eager to do something that will benefit my mum. I simply wanted to ease her maternal worryings about my effort expenditure on her behalf.

I won't be able to show her this thread now as you have thoroughly humiliated me. Really rather wishing I hadn't bothered. It's amazing how just one person can sour your whole outlook on something. Moderators please feel free to delete this post as I shall not be returning.

Dear Laura,

I think you've misunderstood KatTai's message and sentiments a bit.  She did say at the beginning of her post that she meant no offence, and maybe she got the wrong end of the stick from your original post - it's easy enough to do on the internet.  When I read your original post, I was going to say something along similar lines - ie if your mum is worried about the upkeep, what about a small water feature or a bog area instead.

KatTai really knows her wildlife, and has given lots of people really good advice here, and I am sure that trying to humiliate you was the last thing she intended.  People are only human, and if you write a post saying "please help!" then lots of people on this forum will try to do just that.  If we get it wrong, then all you have to do is explain again what you mean.

There are lots of very inspirational stories on this forum about people who have built ponds, and the pleasure they have got from them.  I hope that you do come back to the forum and have a browse around.

BB

Hello Laura,

Please don't feel it necessary to leave this forum after one unsatisfactory answer, everyone has an opinion and sometimes we don't all agree....

I am more than happy to talk ponds with you as I have kept ponds and fish for over twenty years. I have also been involved in the designing and construction of other ponds and water features for friends and family. If I can be of assistance then please do message me back as I am a massive fan of ponds and wildlife so would be more than happy to help and offer advice/positive words etc.....

If you would prefer not to do it on a 'live' thread that would be a real shame but understandable, feel free to use the link at the bottom of my posts and leave a comment on my blog page which will link you through to an email address attached to it. I will then endeavour to answer any of your questions and queries?

I really do hope that this is of use to you? And that you choose not to leave us?

Best regards

Higgy

http://higgysgardenproject.blogspot.com/

hi laura i was in a very similar situation to you a few months ago. We have two shallow small ponds in my parents garden. I live with my parents and recently wanted to bring as much wildlife into my garden as possible. In one of the ponds we had nothing in it, give or take a few mini insects. Also because the ponds are so shallow i wanted to make one of them deeper so it would attract more wildlife, and maybe even add fish into it. Anyway my girlfriend had a molded pond in her dads shed that she never used so i got the green light off my mum to update one of the ponds. Now it is only a small pond, but deeper and within a few weeks frogs visited the pond and layed there frogspawn in it, which they never did when it was so much smaller and shallower. We have had ponds in our garden for years, maybe not massive ones but ponds all the same, and the only maintenence we have had to do is fill the water up every now and again, and feed the fish. All i'm saying is once you have made the pond using the correct methods, added the correct water plants, then insects, frogs and birds will naturally visit your pond, and you should be setup. The whole point of ponds are they are meant to be natural, so i don't understand why it would take so much maintainence or turn into a stinking mess, go for it io say. Sounds like an amazing garden, wish i had foxes visiting mine, and i'm sure adding a pond will do more good than harm for the local wildlife.

goodluck with it laura, hope you can convince your mum.

Hi Laura

We built a wildlife pond last year, something I'd promised the kids for a while. This year we had our first Frogs spawn just a few months after it was finished. Well worth the effort and in the summer with the water plants all flowering and growing a lovely addition to the garden.

Andrew

Hi Laura,

Oh dear I am so sorry you've taken offence. As Higgy says, we all have our own opinions and nobody means to hurt you. We always have a pond in our gardens, although I admit Himself is the chief architect and maintenance man:-) If you get the right balance of oxygenating plants the water should stay clear and fresh and friendly. Of course, ponds do need cleaning out now and then but I haven't noticed Himself making it a life's work. I also haven't notice many mosquitos - if there are enough living things in and around the pond I think they eat the little buzzers and their larvae - buckets, rain barrels and things left lying about with standing water or no lid are the worse culprits I find. Watching things like dragonflies hatch is a fantastic sight (although true, you do have to be up very early to see that) and of course, they like a nice mozzie or 90 for breakfast. A bog garden beside your pond is also a lovely planting opportunity. I expect you know about wildlife ponds - but you do need a deep area so that overwintering frogs don't get frozen to death and starved of oxygen when the pond freezes - Higgy will know the recommended depth and of course a shallow sloping edge so that creatures that fall in can get out. I do hope that if your mum opts for a pond she has many happy hours watching the life that is busy around and in it. Wildlife ponds, by the way, shouldn't have fish - fish ponds are a whole different thing, nice though and the fish will also eat the mozzie larvae. We always have a bench near our ponds so that we can have a nice quiet, contemplative sit to calm us down in this hectic old world. There is much joy to be had just watching the sky and clouds reflected in the water. Whatever your mum decides, I hope we see you again. Why let one person's honest opinion get you in a tizz (KatTai's an absolute sweetie by the way, I've learned such a lot from her)and thus deprive you of this lovely forum?And my advice, take Higgy up on his offer, the man knows his gardening, both dry and wet:-)

Best wishes, Kezsmum

Hi Laura

Sorry to hear things went a little off key on here for you

Please give here another try as there are many people who will give you the information that you require on here. 

We have a pond in our current garden we are getting to learn  all about the watery subject, and I need all the answers I can get too.

Look forward to hearing from you once more on here in the future ...maybe

Regards

Kathy and Davr

Laura, I honestly didn't mean to cause any offence and I apologise for doing so.  Your post came across to me as something that you seemed to be wanting more than your mother and I don't like to offer advice on "convincing" someone of something if I'm not certain it is what that person wants. I don't feel it is right to do so without being sure it is what the other person does actually want.  Unfortunately it is something I see a lot of on another forum I frequent, and perhaps most surprisingly it isn't always children that are pressuring the parents into something but people who are adults in their own right so I am very cautious when I see threads that come across as sounding like someone is being pressurised into something.

If you are wanting a pond for amphibians, the deeper you can make it the better.  Some amphibians hibernate at the bottom of ponds, and unfortunately many that use this method have perished over the last couple of winters due to the ponds not been deep enough to protect them from the freeze, so the deeper the pond can be made, the better - though of course this would require much more digging work.  However, a pond is only part of what amphibians require, in fact some use ponds only for laying their eggs in and spend the rest of their time on land and therefore creating a boggy area of the garden as has already been suggested in this thread will also be very beneficial as this will be where they will most of their time hunting for food, as will log and rock piles, again with some of it buried into the ground as these will help create terrestrial hibernating sites for amphibians that chose to hibernate on land. 

Froglife have a good guide on creating habitats for amphibians here - http://www.froglife.org/justaddwater/ which has a lot of information on creating a suitable pond as well as the jobs that needs to be done for each season to keep the pond (and it's inhabitants) healthy.  You could also start off with a tub pond which would be smaller, easier to deal with but also beneficial for wildlife and then if that works out really well then progress onto a larger pond (there is oinfo about these on the link provided also).

Hi Laura,

I can only re-iterate what others have said here and am sure KatTai did not mean any offence.

I would also love a pond in my garden, but this is not going to be possible at the moment and have decided instead to create a half barrel pond which hopefully will attract amphibians next spring as well as other wildlife.  There are a number of helpful websites on making a barrel pond if you do an internet search.

If you do decide to go ahead with a pond, I hope too that you take up Higgy's kind offer.

Good Luck with your Project

Claire