Alternative Definitions

Thought I'd share an amusing section which was in a company magazine we receive ….

Alternative definitions:

Adult:   a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle 

Beauty Parlour:    a place where women curl up and dye

Cannibal:    someone who is fed up with people

Committee:   a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

Egotist:  someone who is usually me-deep in conversation 

Mosquito:    an insect that makes you like flies better

Raisin:    a grape with sunburn

Toothache:   the pain that drives you to extraction 

Tomorrow:   one of the greatest labour saving devices of today 

Yawn:   an honest opinion openly expressed 

Wrinkles:     something other people have, similar to my character lines 

The toothache one touches a raw nerve at the moment ………….. ( in my case anyway )    so have added my own to the list   ! 

Root Canal:     where you source a dentist and barge in for treatment         lol   


Regards, Hazel 

"Each kindness shown to birds or men is sure to flutter back again" 

  • Very witty Hazel, Mmm think a few may be me! Regarding the one added by yourself, I am having Root Canal on Wednesday! My sympathies in bucket loads!

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • In reply to Catlady:

    Adult, Mosquito and Wrinkles amused me.   Tomorrow, in Greece everything was always put off until avrio.    

    Like your root canal definition - well not like but understand it.   Hope you are still able to enjoy this sunshine Hazy.

    Lot to learn

  • In reply to gaynorsl:

    Thanks Catlady and Gaynor,  counting down the hours till Wednesday at 9am which can't come soon enough but doing ok and managing the roller-coaster of nerve pain.  I did look at attending the dental hospital but the criteria for that is that your face has to be swollen from abscess with root canal problem before you can get treated !    raw nerve pain that drives you insane and requires root canal treatment doesn't count unfortunately lol

    At least I can still smile through the grimaces and the birdies are a good distraction  !!  


    Regards, Hazel 

    "Each kindness shown to birds or men is sure to flutter back again" 

  • In reply to HAZY:

    Very witty alternative definitions, Hazel. Glad you are managing to keep cheerful. I wish I could come up with something but it's so hot down here I can hardly think straight. I reckon it's 32C with no breeze and I can't stay outside for more than 15 mins or so. It's 28C in my bedroom so a restless night is in store.

    I'm shocked that your dental practice can't offer an emergency appointment before Wednesday. I'm sure mine would have been able to although I do have private dental insurance. Not for any other medical stuff though.



    My Flickr Photostream 

  • In reply to TeeJay:

    Thanks Tony,  it sure has been hot today and I've spent most time in the cool lounge area away from garden and conservatory which is like the tropics lol     Re dentist,  although I pay for private dental treatment my dentist is away on hols so the other two in the practice are pretty booked up and busy;  I suppose I don't complain enough or make enough fuss, tending to accept what they say.   I remember the saying  "the squeakiest wheels get the most oil"   lol   so I should remember to shout out on occasion !!   Pain goes in peaks and troughs and at the moment is 2 on a scale of 10 so not too bad right now.  Never thought I'd be so pleased to visit the dentist  lol   I've had 5 root canals before so quite used to them :(   I cheer myself up by remembering that this treatment would cost three times the price in Australia   ha ha !   Will still cost over £400   ouch !  


    Regards, Hazel 

    "Each kindness shown to birds or men is sure to flutter back again" 

  • In reply to HAZY:

    Hazel, Just found this thread and see that you do know a version of the saying I posted earlier today for you!  Hope your pain subsides soon.

    Kind regards,