Last night in Arizona; heading home tomorrow with stopover in Palm Desert. Will catch up then!
Heather: I've read your post carefully -- I knew that you would probably be trying to think about the future and what to do for the best.
I agree with OG that roses are a lot more work, and if your back garden is not all that big, then keeping it neat should be achievable with some careful planting. And/or taking out of surplus shrubs etc. You don't say that the house "feels too big" or any of the things that folks sometimes say when they feel the need to move on. If it's just the garden that's getting you down, then make some small changes. Its great that you have help in the form of someone who will prune things, always a major item. Is there a teenager nearby who would be glad to earn some pocket money by sweeping up the leaves now and then?
We can't tell you what is best, it's for you to decide. These things need a lot of careful thought. Only you can make a mental list of the pros and cons. But we'll all be here to listen to your dilemmas, and even the moans!! {{BIG HUGS}}
LINDY - Thank you and also for the hugs! Soon after Bill died, my sis in law upset me greatly because she said that now I could put my own stamp upon the garden. It wasn't what I wanted to hear at the time but I now see that she had a point. A lot of the problem is that I am trying to keep it the way he did and I can't. It was his hobby, his passion. I don't suppose that he would expect me to do things his way, now. With my sensible hat on, I know that I must move on or move out. My sensible hat keeps falling off, though. Maybe by next year things will seem clearer....
Absolutely. It's your garden, now. You need to have it how it works for you. I have the garden which my mother lovingly built, from a bare patch with just a lawn and a few shrubs and trees, to a garden with more interesting things in it, and full of colour all year round: gardening was her passion and I was only just getting interested when she fell ill and we had to care for her precious legacy. In the first year, several things died and it was then that I remembered her saying "Gardens evolve, they never stay the same from year to year"
We've felt guilty when some of her favourites have gone (a bed full of irises, all different and beautiful) and we've revelled in some of the things which have done well. We've planted some of our own favourites. But I know that if she's looking down she would not disapprove, just be pleased that we are getting pleasure from it.
We have both discussed the future - we want to stay here for as long as we can, but if we get old together, or one of us goes, then it's a move into the centre of the town, in a flat with perhaps just a balcony.
EDIT : I would say, wait until spring or even early summer next year. You may look at it and think "not all that work all over again" or you may gird up your loins and think "I can do this for a few more years."
Heather - I have some thoughts but no time to send them now. I'll collect them for you when I return from weekend escape. Meanwhile, lots of {{{HUGS}}}
Have a Great Escape, AQ!!
I have to go out now, all in a rush as usual. But I thought you'd all like to see the pics I took the other day of the Sparrowhawk sitting in our plum tree, gazing around for her next meal:
She's sitting right at the top of our tree: I could only photograph her from the bedroom window, and by the time I had taken a third picture, the frame was empty! - gone!
LINDY What a beautiful bird.
HEATHER Good advice from Lindy I think. It is not long since you hurt your back which won't help with the gardening. Whatever you do, don't rush into any major changes.
When my friend and I got home it was chucking it down, however an hour or so later the weather improved so we went for a walk. Despite having Breagha on the walk Benson was still not keen He did the full walk after a bit of persuasion but looked as if it was done under duress. If we didn't know that he really enjoys his walk when the car is involved then we would get a vet appt for a check up. He must be going through a phase!!!
Harelady - what a wonderful thing Katie's work colleagues did for you. I expect your blood pressure rose because of recent events. Hopefully now it is checked it will go down again. Glad your visitors are keeping you busy.
Lindy - Princess is lovely.
Just celebrated OH's 75th birthday and our 49thWA with a meal out with Dau, Son and Dau-in-law at a local Italian restaurant last night. Great meal and came away full.
OG - see there is going to be a concert at Dumfries House to commemorate its opening again after the restoration - Prince Charles and Camilla are to attend. Glad you enjoyed your trip to Loch Arthur.
AQ - Oh dear, early start. Hope all went well.
http://scottishwildlifetrust.org.uk/things-to-do/wildlife-webcams/loch-of-lowes/
RSPB Giving Nature a Home
Dibnlib - hope you enjoyed your swim and meeting with friend. Not going back to gym till next week when we shall have to get into a routine again and some exercising.
Lindy - just love the pic of that magnificent Shire horse. Also you pics of the sparrowhawk, so wonderful to get one on your plum tree.
AQ - sounds as though it was a bit exhausting but at least you got to know what they are up to.
HeatherB - I am no gardner but if I ever had the money to change it I would. Get rid of unwanted bushes etc (in our case ivy has taken over everywhere) have a circular patio - sitting area, raised flower beds and gravel or slab paths, making it much more easily maintained. Its hard to know what to advise but as Lindy says - look to getting rid of shrubs that are high maintenance.Also it has to be what you would find easier to look after. Just one or two thoughts from me.
Thank you, DIBNLIB, LYNETTE, AQ, LINDY. I do appreciate the support. I'm almost decided to look at the garden with a different eye next Spring and try and stop worrying about it just now. It all seems so stupid but somehow, seems as if I am disposing of something that my OH loved so much. Common sense and practicality are in very short supply just now, I'm afraid.