Cue the music
It is time of great unrest on the main lake of Saltholme. Birds live in fear of the Emperor Hissy and his evil hench swan, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks. A small band or rebels are led by George Icewalker, the black swan who came here from Australia with his sister Kylie. But no-one has seen Princess Kylie for some time now and George fears the worst, that she has been imprisoned and will be forced to appear on an I used to be a celebrity television show. To make matters worse, Darth Wader and Kylo Wren have begun to manufacture an army of rat droids in the sheep shed, to enable them to conquer the land as well as water.
Emperor Hissy, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks
It is winter and ice makes finding food difficult. The Emperor, Darth Scratchy and the clone ducks make sure they get most of the food. There is little food left for George and the rebels.
The merlin falcon, piloted by Han Sowallow and Choughbacca with droids R2-Dtern and C3POchard has been despatched from the rebel base on a mission to destroy the rat droid factory and can’t help George. A squadron of X- wing finches is accompanying the falcon, armed with pheasant torpedoes. A ground force led by Admiral Albatross are trying to infiltrate the factory and blow up the shield generator in readiness for the air assault.
In the mornings, rebel Yodean raids the bins behind the buildings and tries to feed the rebels, but he is continually thwarted by the evil swans and the clone ducks.
George Icewalker watches from a distance. He knows he can walk over the ice, but the clone ducks are between him and the food. He can see Yodean up by the building who has some suet pellets. All seems lost, but then, George hears the voice of Obi-swan in his head saying “use the grass George ….. use the grass”. Nervously at first, George rises from the icy water and with growing confidence, does indeed walk up the grass to meet Yodean who gives him loads of food.
Use 'the grass' George
Now to rescue the Princess Kylie, play the secret message from Obi-swan, blow up the sheep shed and save nature.
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All characters depicted in this blog are entirely real and obviously Kylie is still a true celebrity.
No swans or ducks were harmed during the making of this blog.
I nearly died laughing as I read this while on Reception duty at Minsmere yesterday! I can't wait for the next instalment.
On a more serious note I sincerely hope Princess Kylie is OK.
Our herring gulls are red listed birds. Think about that the next time you hear some flaming idiot calling for a cull of them.