The Monday morning calm was shattered by one of those moments that come along every once in a while to test the ‘manhood’ of us males.
I was walking through my village with my girlfriend Laura, heading for the bus stop to catch the bus to work when a soft, but clear ‘wolf whistle’ sounded out behind us.
To be honest, I always find it a compliment when my girlfriend gets such public shows of admiration. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t think the same though. In fact, past experience has shown me she’d rather not be the subject of such attention.
A glance passed between us and the realisation that I was going to have to protect her honour dawned.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a bit of old fashioned chivalry and would happily defend the love of my life against anything, but was this going to be worth missing the bus and, more importantly, risk the wrath of an unruly gang for?
“Did you hear that?!”, she said.
At this point in the proceedings, I was tempted to say “No” and hurry us along to the bus stop, but my conscience was pricked into telling the truth. I answered in the affirmative and instantly regretted it.
Time was ticking and my manhood was now well and truly under the spotlight. With an Easter break with her parents/the future in-laws fast approaching, I could ill afford to fail this test.
We stopped. At that very same moment, he whistled again, above where we stood. The scoundrel was up a tree! Surely it was a cheeky young lad then. Better than having to deal with a gang of ‘wideboy’ builders, or a gang of ‘hoodies’ I thought. I flexed my muscles, put on my ‘serious’ face and turned to face the music…
I tell you what, that starling won’t be messing with me again after the look I gave him! Rather stupidly, I’d forgotten that starlings are brilliant mimics and frequently copy the sounds made by us humans.
This cheeky chappy had clearly heard a serial ‘wolf whistler’ to pick up such a perfect imitation. If starlings could laugh, this one would have done.
With my manhood intact, I then proceeded to gain brownie points by telling Laura all about the powers of mimicry shown by starlings, so all’s well that ends well. This time anyway...