Some of you folks out there in Twitter world may have noticed that, among other offerings, Luke and I like to throw in the odd joke, lately with an ornithological slant, on https://twitter.com/RSPBWeymouth. Lovingly, laboriously (and perhaps hastily) crafted, and possibly of limited appeal and durability they may be, but we mean well. Perhaps there are more out there on the same theme...
Anyway, here's one which can't be crammed into a Tweet, but which we'd like to share anyway:
A chap goes into a record shop and selects from the rack an LP called The Sounds of Wasps, and asks if he can listen to a sample before buying it. Shopkeeper agrees to play a few tracks and tells the man to go into a booth where he can put on headphones and listen.
A couple of minutes later the man emerges from the booth and says “I am the world’s expert on wasps and the sounds they make and I don’t recognise anything I’ve heard so far. Something’s wrong with this record!” The shopkeeper says “Sorry, sir, maybe the record is a bit dusty, I’ll clean it and we’ll try again.” So the bloke goes back into the booth and puts the headphones back on.
He soon comes out again, looking more frustrated, and says “I am the world’s expert on wasps and the sounds they make and I still don’t recognise anything I’ve heard so far. I’m sure something’s wrong with this record!” The shopkeeper apologises again and says he’ll check the speed of the record player, then invites the customer to settle down in the booth again and listen to some more tracks.
It’s not long before the man emerges from the booth again, still looking very disgruntled, exclaiming “I am the world’s expert on wasps and the sounds they make and I still don’t recognise anything I’ve heard so far. I’m sure something’s wrong with this record!”
The shopkeeper checks the record player again, and says...
“I’m terribly sorry sir, but I’ve been playing the B side.”
Why is the length of time it takes to cook a duck similar to a 1970's soul singer?
Because you cook him till his Bill Withers.