Weekly Chat (Non-Osprey), 3 December 2023

AQ – sounds like a really good Occupational Therapist (apart from the timing) and plenty of devices to help – but who is there who could persuade your OH to use them all? I hope he will continue with the speech therapy. Does he still go out for lunches? How does he manage his communication there?

SUNNY KATE – so sorry for your loss – sending thoughts and prayers for you.

I am beginning to feel very much out of place as everyone else seems to be trying to look after someone and I am the looked after one in this set-up – and I hate every minute. I feel I have totally lost myself and am trying to find the “me” in all of this.

Forgive me for being so self-indulgent - I think it may be that I need to take a long break to give everyone a break from me! So I am going to wish you all the best this jolly season and may try coming back when they open the new page. OH is getting a Carers’ lunchtime “jolly” next week, so he’ll be okay.

Thank you all so much for your kind words Prayers Hugs and thoughts.,

@OG....Please do not take a break, I am sure I speak for all, that we will miss your wonderful chattering s, that you air so brilliantly, and marvel how you adapt so well to your difficulties.and we look foward to J's working life ,together with EE taking care of you.

OG So sorry you are feeling lost. Take care of yourself and I am sure you know this site is here for you as it is for all of us. Hope EE enjoys his lunchtime.

OG -- I can assure you that you're not alone. I don't know where I'd be without my OH as I've had failing health for some time now but he has battled on heroically, and taken on a great deal of the housework and the driving duties, as I don't feel as confident now behind the wheel due to weaker eyesight.

We enjoy your chatty posts and your interest in all of OUR doings. I do hope you won't desert us {{HUGS}}

OG - please don’t take a break. I agree with everything Sunny Kate said. We are here to support. I’m not a carer (although my sister and I did a lot of travelling up to about 10 years ago visiting my Dad in Yorkshire and his cousin in Edinburgh) Now I sometimes feel rather selfish because it is just me to please. We all have been given different circumstances in life and have to adapt to them however we can. I am on my own and greatly value the support of my sister. She texts me every morning to see if I am “still on my perch”

Morning all: Gosh, where to start.....

PatO: That IS a long drive. Hope it wasn't too terrible and that your knees haven't got any worse.  EDIT:  Ghastly sentence.  "hope your knees aren't any worse."   (And to think I used to write/edit for a living.....)

OG: Didn't you just get rid of that bug? Sounds like it's back with a vengeance. Sorry J missed possible volunteer opportunities. :-( Tx for clarifying "over the water;" I was half-imagining the Atlantic.....  EDIT:   Just saw PatO's plea for you not to take a break from the thread..  If that's what you need, that's okay, but we certainly don't need a break from you.

AQ; So so sorry Mr. Grumpy (we know you really do care!) and PT lady aren't meeting expectations/hopes. Can you get in-home help for him when it comes to showers, etc? It must be wearing you out mentally and physically. But may I ask why you can't rant to daughters? (That's never been an problem in our family!) Meanwhile, feel free to rant to your heart's content on here.

SunnyKate: Oh Lord, huge hugs to you from us all I'm sure. Sounds like "say yes to everything" was/is great advice. Do you have good family/friend support? It also sounds like it wasn't unexpected....

Rusty: So many birds, so many lunches out! Good for you! :-))

Meanwhile, still very busy here, but am running away this afternoon to meet old friend at local restaurant for a cup of coffee and a long natter; probably lots of ranting too.

Annette - Safely arrived. Too much traffic on the road - too many road works - too many idiots. A journey that should take 2 hours 20 minutes, according to my SatNav, took 3 hours 30 minutes! And my knees are fine as long as I'm sitting down ... standing and moving are the problems. Hoping the knees will improve with the weather - if it ever gets any better. And I'll do it all again in the opposite direction on Monday ... with a tight schedule of needing to get back for an 'event' where I live. Either I leave at 6.00am (which is not going to happen!) or risk missing everything. Oh well ...
OG - Please don't desert us. We need your down-to-earthness

Unknown said:

Do you have good family/friend support? It also sounds like it wasn't unexpected....

Unfortunately Daughter and family ,lives 300 miles up country, but was with me and will be again. Yes sadly OH was at 'end of life' with Two Nurses twice a day back in April, BUT miracle man and his age group do not give in easily, he recovered, to the amazement of all, so he was able to feel the Summer, but went downhill suddenly again , which we anticipated,and NHS cannot be faulted. However I am fortunate to have marvellous friends, nearby, who treat me as their own Mum, and I of course treat them as sons and daughter, without living in each others pockets, we are here, for each other.

Thank you for your hugs

Pleased to hear you've got local support, SunnyKate. Do take care of yourself: there's so much to do at these times.

Everyone: aren't we lucky have somewhere we can have a rant? with such kind and understanding friends online.