It is 8.20am on Sunday morning.
My daughter and I are sitting at our kitchen table. I have had my porridge, she is eating marmite on bread.
We are about to take part in Big Garden Bird Watch. My wife and son are not.
My daughter is in charge of the technology and the bird watching. I am just here.
This year, we have a new feeder (identical to our old one) for our small and very messy suburban garden. I have a theory that the birds are less interested in this new addition.
We have a few password issues on the RSPB website (my fault), but we are now ready to go.
Outside it is cold (probably, I haven’t actually checked) and a little windy.
8.28am
Early action from a pair of blackbirds taking some liberally scattered seed from the garden bench.
A gang of four house sparrows target the feeders and surprisingly one decides it prefers the new one.
A robin appears and then disappears.
8.36
It all goes quiet, so my daughter reads her book.
8.38
A robin returns. We then replay a conversation that has been had in thousands of households this weekend. “Is that two robins then?” asks my daughter. “No, we can’t count that one, because we don’t know if it was a different one” I say. “Oh, so there has to be two in the garden for us to record two” my daughter rightly concludes.
8.41
Two sparrows and a blackbird return. But this does not rouse my daughter from her book. We have them already.
8.43
Suddenly, things hot up. A chaffinch joins four sparrows and then two blue tits. Some doubt about a fifth house sparrow and then clear confirmation. Make that six.
8.46
More sparrow action.
And then a great tit flies in and wisely chooses the new bird feeder. Another great tit flies onto the old one.
8.49
Quick check of the cricket score. England take their second Australian wicket, but it looks like we are heading for a disappointing end to the one day series.
8.50
A magpie stops by, clearing the garden.
8.55
Focusing on the returning blackbirds, I nearly miss the collared dove that flies in an out of the garden. On its own, which is a surprise. And now the sparrows are back. In fact they are all back: blue tits, robins and great tits. And then a greenfinch drops in.
8.58
Half time score: 17 individuals from 9 different species. This is comparable to previous years, but we are missing dunnock and goldfinch from our regular list. I have low expectations that the long-tailed tits will turn up. They never make an appearance on the big day.
9.03
A wood pigeon flies by but refuses to land in the garden. THAT DOES NOT COUNT.
9.06
The (or a) gang of sparrows descends. One, two, three, four, five… Hmmm. Tricky things to count when they are flitting between bushes. Right definitely six. Seven! That’s the record of the day.
9.16
And suddenly three magpies.
But on this occasion, the sparrows keep feeding.
9.18
Three starlings in the silver birch tree. Very good.
But we are running out of time for the dunnock and goldfinch. Come on! Where are you?
9.19
Two collared doves this time. Good: normal service resumed.
Slightly distracted as two Australian wickets fall in quick succession.
Must focus on the final few minutes.
9.22
It is looking like a very quiet end to the Birdwartch. My son appears for the final few minutes. He decides not to stay. It was clearly a courtesy call.
Oh no, next door’s cat appears on top of the shed. That’ll be that then. But we decide to shoo it away and as if by magic a dunnock appears. Very, very pleased.
My daughter starts randomly pointing and calling out birds we haven’t seen.
9.27
One minute warning.
9.28
And that is that. Final scores: 24 individuals from 11 species.
A good morning. Shame about the goldfinch and the cricket.
POSTSCRIPT
My pessimism about the cricket was unfounded. England beat Australia by 12 runs.
Very enjoyable account Martin (and not a dissimilar line up to mine) - I enjoyed it almost as much as the ball-by-ball ODI commentary online. :-)