Oxymoron humour

Thought I would share some humour from our company magazine to give you a bit of light-hearted relief during these dull winter months and also as it's still too quiet on the forum !

  • Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand ?
  • If a word in a dictionary was misspelled, how would we know ?
  • Why does "slow down" and slow up"  mean the same thing ?
  • Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing ?
  • Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?
  • Does "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected ?
  • Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites ?
  • Why does "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things ?
  • Why is "phonetic"  not spelled the way it sounds ?   
  • If love is blind then why is lingerie so popular ?
  • Why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead ?
  • Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase ?
  • How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?
  • Christmas - what other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat sweets out of your socks ?

cheese jokes to follow shortly  ! ...............  

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